Switching to a Piers Nivans from Resident Evil 6 theme, because fuck you Piers is awesome.
By the way Kiba and Akamaru are lame.
Wanna join the fad? I'll make you a lame sig for the character of your choosing.

STORY TIME, BOYS AND GIRLS: So like any other angsty foo on the website, my living situation ain't exactly the most charming. This particular night, I didn't want to listen to my drunk stepdad yell at my mother, so I said "fuck it", put on my favorite pants and jacket, slipped my throwing knives in my back pocket, got my shitty black kicks on, and walked out the door for a pleasing midnight stroll. One lap around my street and the one neighboring it, and I pop in for a quick break (with the yelling continuing, might I add), and go back out for another route, this one on a sidewalk by a main road.

Usually this main road is filled with traffic, but at 1 in the morning, not so much. A few cars, surprisingly no hecklers, and even a handful of cops drove by. At a certain point, I decide to turn around and head back the way I came. Relatively peaceful. Saw a cop pull over a guy in a side-street, even. Passing said street, a white modern Mustang copcar passed me on the opposite side of the road, turning into the very street I live on in front of me, before coming back out of it a few seconds later. I'm just about 10 yards away from my street when he flashes his lights and slowly pulls over to the curb next to me. Obviously it was for me, but I know I haven't done anything wrong, so I come to a halt beside his car and politely waited for him to step out or roll down the window.

To my oh-so-fortunate luck, he steps out of the car, and starts walking around to me on the sidewalk. Our exchange goes a lil' something like this:
Cop: Hey man.
Me: *nods with a slight smile* (appearing friendly and all that) Hello, officer.
C: You doing alright?
M: Yessir.
C: What'cha out here for?
M: Just out for a walk, officer.
C: Where you live?
M: **** **** (Suck it.)
C: Oh, okay, so it's like right over there. So, were you trying to get some exercise, fresh air...?
M: My stepdad was getting drunk and yelling at my mother, so I came out to clear my head. Get away from it.
C: Ahh. Is everything alright there?
M: I hope so, I was just on my way to go back, really.
C: Alright. You got an ID on you?
M: No sir. (No need for it.)
C: Any weapons on you?
M: No sir. (I FUCKING LIED, OKAY, MY THROWING KNIVES WERE STILL IN MY BACK POCKET.)
C: Alright. I just wanna-...something in your hand?
M: No sir. (I hold it out and show him. My hand was hovering over my front pocket and kinda curled, so he thought I was holding something. It's a habit.)
C: Ah, okay. Just looked like you were holding something. Anyway, I just wanna get your name and birthday, verify who you are.
M: Fine by me.

I tell him my details, he steps back in his car and types it in the computer. Gonna be a while, I think, so I slowly step back and lean against the wall behind me. Admittedly, I was a little nervous, because you know I kinda lied about carrying weapons, but I know I haven't done anything wrong to warrant an arrest, so I activate my ginger abilities and calm my nerves a bit. Got a little hot, too, and was tempted to take off my jacket, but I know that would have looked suspicious and show my sweaty forearms and give the cop the wrong idea, so I keep it on. A minute and a half later, he's steps back out and walks around the car again. I make no movement as he approached me.

C: Alright, man, you're all good. Thank you for your cooperation.
M: Of course, officer. Just doing your job, I understand. (in a friendly tone, might I add. No snark or anything silly.)
C: You have a good night.
M: You too.

And then I walked off and we were k. I couldn't help but grin like an idiot when I walked onto my street.

#THUGLIFE

Moral of the story? Shave my beard next time I go out for a late-night walk so I don't look like a mugger or rapist. Annnnd maybe don't carry my throwing knives on me.
...WHAT, THEY WERE FOR PROTECTION. I'M A PALE, SKINNY GINGER WITH A SLIGHT HOURGLASS FIGURE, AFTER ALL.

I know this sounds strange as all hell, but I'm kinda stumped on this certain subject, and could use some help.

Any of you know good examples for a 70s/80s style buddy-cop theme? Something that really captures that funky television show feel. Like Starsky & Hutch. or CHiPs, or the credits song to Leon's campaign in Resident Evil 6, or this is completely unrelated, I just wanted to share it with you.

Any help is appreciated.

Hodor.

Yeah, me neither!
Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!

(Shadells and I are doing a Statler and Waldorf [respectively] act for a bit. Stay tuned for some dumb banter between the two of us.)

Erpdate: Say I started doing some livestreaming of whatever I'm working on, be it writing something up (which is the most likely out of the other things), drawing or touching something up in Photoshop, maybe playing a game on my laptop (or my Xbox, if you guys don't mind a shitty webcam recording the action at worst, or a sub-par capture device without any game audio at best), etc. etc., would any of you be interested in watching that sort of thing? Admittedly it wouldn't be anything spectacular to watch, but still, something to do and all. Might make for a good opportunity for us to chat while you're spying on whatever I'm doing. Hell, maybe you'll even get into whatever I'm working on, and might wanna help out in some way.

Instead of caving in to demands on the last newspost and changing the image on there, I am instead making a new one.
Henceforth, this newspost will be dedicated to the mighty acting juggernaut that is known as Nicolas Cage. By that I mean all of the images on here will be related to Nic Cage in some way, and nothing else.

Carry on.

HEY LOOK, A COOL VIDEO.

Someone wanted another video, right?

I want that headband and so do you I hope.

AYE YO: I have AIM now. Any of you guys use it as well? I'm more of a Skype guy, buuuuut if it means keeping in touch with certain peeps, then I shall compromise. Also, SNOOOOOOOW~

WOOSH WOOSH!: I have just started playing League of Legends. Miraculously my laptop can run it for the most part. It's not too bad, I suppose. I like the spinning blade ability Garen does. Any of you play it as well?
Also all the snow melted.
Orc.

This news post is to serve as a reminder for myself. Comment if you so wish to.

Continue writing "Homestuck Heist" short story.
Draw character portrait of Locke Bauss (Daisuke's [the last dude] squad leader) and think of a short bio to go with him.
Make a shitty drawing of my BBF (Best Bro Forever) and myself as either the Contra dudes or Kane & Lynch.
Write some sort of summary to explain to you what the fuck all these characters I attempt drawing are for.
Read more Homestuck.
Lift.
Learn the lyrics to more Rick Astley songs.
Annoy a friend to finish drawing porn of some of their own characters.
Deny KillerSkull's pleas for me to draw yaoi for him.
Think of good puns.

Also I recently beat Black Ops 2 after having borrowed it for 8 hours. Bleh.
That's all for now.

Minor update: I finally managed to submit Daisuke onto my art stuff on here. No clue why it was so difficult before, but hooray.

A slightly more major update: I bought Assassin's Creed 3, Gears of War 3, and Dark Sector for Xbox, so those will probably distract me from all of the above. Except for puns. Gotta keep the gears turning for that one.

Newgrounds doesn't like me uploading art (or whatever I draw that passes off as "art" anyway), so check it out on my deviantArt instead, if you so wish.
Comment there or here if you like it/hate it, if you want. I'll admit it's not spectacular, but dammit I must be improving slightly.
(Why not show it off on this news post? Shit's too big, yo.)

What else is new... I had a New Year's party. And by party, I mean only two friends along myself were present, both of which spent the night because fuck going home. Hell, one of them wasn't even planned to be here, since he was more or less hastily picked up from a nearby mall after he got kicked out of two houses. Poor bastard. It's a good thing he got to me when he did. (Should you be worried about him, he's with his brother now, so his situation should be marginally better than before)
How was your New Year?

Not much else. I'm sure I'll update if I think of something.

Butter lettuce.

Alright. Fuck it. I'm a few acts into this webcomic now, so I may as well share my opinion about it so far on here.

First and foremost, I like it, if not love it. Great humor, clever story, and likable characters all around. The mostly simple visual style of it is pleasing to my eye, not being overly flashy or stylized like some other webcomics. I absolutely love the interactivity of it, be it exploring a person's house, choosing options in a RPG-like battle (or strife as they call it), or having a character play their bass guitar by mashing the keys on the keyboard for a different note or action, among so many others. Apparently when it first started, a lot of the choices that the characters made were chosen by fans, which can lead to some interesting distractions, like "pick up every useless object for no reason", or "appreciate the movie poster with Nicolas Cage", or "knit a 3-inch thick cover for your laptop". The idea of letting fans have input on what will happen next, almost like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure story, is simply wonderful.

Second of all, this shit is fucking confusing. They're playing a game that turns their lives into a game for others to play? Combining a doll and the remains of a deceased loved one makes a ghostly mentor? Wait wait, now we're in the future following some creature wrapped in cloth as he creates a town made out of cans? There's a separate dream world of all this shit now?! Those dudes from the Midnight Crew are a part of this craziness as well!? Trolls?!? Time travel!?? TaLkInG LiKe ThIs FoR No ApPaReNt ReAsOn, AnD TaStiNg ThE TeXt Of ThOsE WhO ArE TaLkInG!?!?!
. . .
Alright... I will admit, Homestuck is rather difficult to try and understand. Hell, it's basically maddening for me to attempt comprehending even a quarter of the stuff in Homestuck. At this point, I honestly just try NOT to understand what's going on in Homestuck, instead just enjoying the ride for what it is. It's working so far, anyway.

Lastly, and this is a minor complaint on my part, "troll speak". As in, whenever a character of the troll race communicates to another character, they talk in some odd fashion unique to each of them, be it ALL CAPS, aLMOST aLL cAPS, L33T SP34K, EvErY OtHeR LeTtEr Is CaPs, etc. etc. This is a pain for me to read. Maybe I'm just slow at adapting to it, or maybe I'm too used to seeing my own sentences crafted to be readable to me like they are now, but I fucking hate having to read what a troll says. You know what? I get it now. They do that shit on purpose to irritate people like me who despise having to read an idiotic sentence or message like that. Cheeky bastards!

Overall, I enjoy reading Homestuck, and look forward to what else it has in store for me. Shout-out to my irl friend Jess for getting me into Homestuck in the first place (albeit after constant pestering [hurr hurr, "pester"...] and making numerous references that I do not get, and still don't get really). World, you're not allowed to end tomorrow. I need to finish this shit, dammit!
(Oh, and GTA V isn't out yet either, so delay your end for that as well.)

Minor update: Using an Ace Combat squadron insignia as an icon until I make a new one myself because I am lazy. Expect a reference to one of the games here and there because I'm a loser like that.

Figured I'll show off some tales of mine from playing Far Cry 3. I'll add more later maybe.
(Also, yay, friends list)

Leopards are jerks
I'm roaming about in Far Cry 3 when I come across these two Rakyat warriors (good guys, basically) mourning by a tombstone. Guessing it's a lost loved one or comrade, I give them some space. Then out of nowhere, a fucking leopard comes and pounces on one of the sobbing dudes, startling his buddy who's struggling for his gun. I take out the leopard with a quick burst from my signature assault rifle, saving the survivor. He gets on his feet, walks to the tombstone that now has his former buddy and the dead leopard lying in front of it, gets on his knees, and continues mourning.
The next day, I'm telling a friend over Xbox Live about what had happened to these Rakyat warriors while roving around Far Cry 3 some more. When I finish explaining it to him, I also add in at the end "So yeah, leopards are jerks, bro". I swear, as soon as I finish saying that, a leopard growls behind me and pounces me, making me scream out of terror. After barely getting my self together and fighting the leopard off, I paused the game, my friend asking "What the hell happened?". I exclaimed "A LEOPARD FUCKING HEARD WHAT I SAID...". Of course he dies in laughter, as do the other 2 people that I've told this story so far.
They just don't understand... *shudders*

Dedication
I'm cruising off the coast of one of the islands in a patrol boat, looking for sharks to hunt down with my sniper rifle. As I'm cruising, I pass by two pirates driving a technical, who end up spotting me and whipping around to give chase. They drive on the road next to the beach for a while before eventually off-roading onto the sand. At this point I decide to stop my boat and maybe take a few shots at them. As I stopped, the pirates steered directly towards the ocean and floored it, driving into the ocean water as much as they could until their truck was submerged. They just sat there for a while, chilling in the salt water for a few seconds before eventually exiting their vehicle underwater. They floated to the top and tried to swim, but being the stupid AI they are, they eventually drown.
Just goes to show that the pirates will do whatever it takes to kill me, even if it means endangering their own lives. These guys are hardcore.

The Magician's Jeep
Walking down a road, I hear gunfire in the distance, so I sprint to investigate. Although I was too late, what happened was a fight between Rakyat warriors and some Privateers (mercenaries, basically), with the mercs being the victors. Deciding to deal some payback, I equip the AMR I bought, which is in a nutshell a very loud and powerful sniper rifle that fires explosive rounds. Just peeking over the crest of the hill with a few blades of grass to obscure me, I plan my attack. Two mercs in plain sight standing out of their jeep, no more than 50 meters away from me. Another merc comes around the corner of the jeep, the gunner I presume, making the total count to three. Waiting a second to savor the moment, I aim at the chest of the merc closest to the jeep, and hold my breath. Steady. Wait for it... PISHAAOW! The bullet knocks him back 5 feet! The other two mercs panic. "Sniper fire!" one of them yells, while the other charges down the road to where he heard the shot rang. I readjust my aim, pointing to the charger's head. Almost... KERPLAAOW! Right between the eyes! Makes his dead body do a backflip due to the force of the bullet. One last guy. He's hiding behind the jeep, attempting to take cover. No matter. I aim right at the spot he'd hiding, despite the jeep in the way... PITCHAAOW! It goes right through the vehicle like a hot knife through butter! His body limply flies back from where it hid. Satisfied with my victory, I decide to celebrate in one of the few ways I know how: by destroying their former vehicle. I don't bother with steadying my aim as I unleash a bullet into the smoking jeep. Now the bullet hit it's mark, but something strange happens: instead of the jeep going up in an explosive inferno like usual, it just... vanishes! The metal crunches like it exploded, and the doors fly off to the side, but the jeep itself just disappears! There's not even a hint of an explosion at where the jeep formerly rested, just the bodies of the mercs. While I was baffled at this act of what I can only assume is magic (or a glitch if you're no fun), I was equally pissed off at not being able to witness an explosive victory. So I turn my attention to the former Rakyat technical and blow that up instead with no problem, and now half the hill side is an inferno because of it.
I wonder where that jeep disappeared to...

Thanks to a generous friend, I now own Garry's Mod on Steam. Installed and started playing it last night. Not too bad. Even runs fairly well on my laptop, which is surprising. As for how well I can use it, I believe this dog is an accurate portrayal...

Update: Been getting the hang of it. Mostly been downloading a fuckton of characters, models, guns, maps, you name it, and just screwing around with it. Posing ragdolls is easier than it was when I started. Still messing around with most of the tools and such. The game has crashed a few times more than I would like though, but it is to be expected when using a laptop that's not made for gaming.
One of these days I'll have a gaming PC...